The Worst Nightmare
by Ano Crazy Adventurer
Summary: My oh my... Shanks x Garp? The crackiest and the worst pairing ever. Whatever it is, hop on and read what actually happened. WARNING: Accidents and crying Luffy. Alive!Sabo. Mainly about crack-ness. Slight pairing: Shanks x Lu(the most unnoticeable) and Tsuru x Whitebeard. T for umm... One Piece? All rights belong to Oda-sensei!


I love meat. Chicken, to be specific.

Oh, I'm a fanfic author.

And hereby, I'm going to write all of those crack things I've imagined, all _thanks_ to a set of questions meant to be games.

First story is about the crackiest pairing I've ever witnessed. According to Luffy, it was the worst pairing.

Wanna know whoxwho?

Continue on.

Anyways, these were the characters I listed for the game. I listed them because they were awesome and meant a lot to me and the story plot, not because of their hot asses. Thank you very much. :D

1. Monkey D. Luffy  
2. Roronoa Zoro  
3. Bon Clay/Bentham  
4. Portgas D. Ace  
5. Shanks  
6. Monkey D. Garp  
7. Trafalgar Law  
8. Sabo  
9. Sanji  
10. Marco

* * *

Question 23. **Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss? {Shanks/Garp}**

And so I tried to muffle some of my laughter but... Failed completely.

"... Pft. Pfft... AHAHAHAHA!" I laughed out loud. I even rolled on the floor for real. I couldn't stop my laughter until I hit onto something. So here goes the story~!

* * *

One peaceful night, the moon was showing half of itself. Birds fast asleep, cats mewing for food, dogs guarding houses and shops and stores, people making out in rooms, and pirates partying like there's no end.

It was so nice that the even the trio veteran marines decided to have their peaceful rest on the island. On the island where the Red-Hair Pirates were having their party. And the crew that even the trio marines would've prefered to avoid at all cost.

"Yosh! Finally! We're here! I'm so hungry that I could eat all the food!" shrieked the grandfather to Monkey D. Luffy, Monkey D. Garp. He was spreading his hands around in the air, almost hitting his two best friends. Sengoku and Tsuru were clearly annoyed at the dangerous whipping hands but ignored it. They don't want to get all stressed nor moody, especially after having the agreement from Kong to let them three have their day-off.

"Yeah, and I pretty much hope that there are no pirates on this island," uttered the afro-haired man. He smiled a bit glancing at his two friends. Garp was between him and Tsuru, which was a distraction for him to really get to that woman. Since decades! That woman never fell for him! Instead she fell for a certain badass pirate - which he admits, worthy of respect from everyone - which really made him go all out and drunken one night with Garp who was all happy about going out for a drink.

He kinda regretted of getting all drunk that night as the next morning was so painful for him. Having to faced paper works, that was so annoying.

"Even if there were, we're on our vacation! So who cares!?" laughed the carefree old man. Shaking their heads, Tsuru and Sengoku smiled at their never-changing friend.

"Yeah, right, Garp. I think it'll be either you or Sengoku to be getting your hands dirty to get those pirates," wisely, the fairly old woman uttered with a poker face, which made Garp feeling a bit offended. The said old man pouted at her.

"Whatever it is, depending who the pirates are, we'll either ignore them or get them out of here or send them staight into Impel Down," it sounded like he was making a joke but he actually didn't. Instead of getting serious faces as the replies, a fit of laughter was given out.

"Yeah... Depends on who they are... ," Garp muttered with a small grin.

After a few minutes, they finally reached a bar which Garp was craving for.

"- and then he quickly chickened out seeing me threatening him with this gun in my hand! Benn was all furious about his cigars being stolen while Boss made fun fun of us two the next morning. Of course Boss had to deal with our punishment later in the evening. And can you believe it! We were- " Yasopp, the sharpshooter of the Red-Hair Pirates froze seeing the three veteran marines at the door. Everyone hummed at his sudden stop in story-telling.

Everyone turned around to meet the shocked looks of the three veteran marines.

Equally shocked, none moved an inch.

"And words became reality. WHERE'S YOUR BADASS CAPTAIN! I WANNA TEACH HIM A LESSON FOR MAKING MY GRANDSON A PIRATE!" Garp was throwing random fists around while Sengoku had to hold him back. Tsuru eyed the two with a sweatdrop.

"G-GA-GA-GARP! SENGOKU AND TSURU!" cried the crew. Yasopp and Benn had their guns pulled out and pointed them at the three. So did the meat-lover Lucky.

Everyone had prepared themselves in their own fighting stances and some just stared in mild shock but mentally preared for almost anything.

"We're not here to capture you guys but know that if you all do anything harmful to the citizens, we'll take action," being the wisest of the three, Tsuru calmed everyone down. Garp didn't seem like calming down until a certain red-haired pirate captain came walking towards the three in a drowsy way of walking.

"Oh, hello... Why're you so pissed, old man!" Shanks asked, making everyone around sweatdropped.

He grinned with his drowsy drunk eyes and almost stumble backwards a few times.

Benn, in the other hand, realizing where all of this was going, started to facepalm. He frowned while muttering some curses. "Oh shit. This could never end beautifully with Boss drunk," he muttered. Rockstar, who was beside him blinked at him in wonder. Well, the first mate sure knew their captain better.

"Hey, you need to chill down! Maybe I can help you!" shrieked the drunk captain of theirs.

And so, the red-haired man neared the marine in Sengoku's grips.

Benn was gritting his teeth in disbelief but his eyes remained calm.

Garp blinked at the sudden approach and went into complete silence as his lips were crashed by the lips of the idol of his grandson. That drunk man even slipped his tongue into his mouth.

When Shanks pulled away, he hic-cupped in satisfication and immediately, his frist mate pulled him away to put him in a place safe from people - well, where people are safe from him.

"Well, oh well. You have a lover from your enemy's former apprentice," Tsuru giggled like a little yaoi fangirl while walking towads the counter for orders. The female bartender shae the same expessions as hers.

"Well, it actually happened," Garp blinked as the voice came from behind him. He slowly stood up and Sengoku walked towards beside Tsuru. The whole crew watched at him in silence and pity. Sure, they are marines, but as a man, they understood it very well.

It took another few moments until the poor old man could finally register what happened to him.

"A KISS! FROM THAT DAMNED BASTARD!? UWAAA! TSURU! WASH MEE!" he cried, in a high-pitched voice tone that made everyone cover their ears.

* * *

After three years of that incident on Alley Island, a new Pirate Kind had shown himself up. Monkey D. Luffy. And his fellow nakama. Together they were called the Straw Hat Pirates. They had managed to reach each others' goals and dreams, except for Nami, since they all haven't sailed to the other Blues yet. Franky too, since he needed to bring Sunny-go around the _whole world._

"WHAAAATTTT!1!" screamed the two captains. Shanks and Luffy wore the same faces in which their own respective crew had to muffle in their snickers. The Straw Hat Pirate crew members were face palming, including Robin.

"I kissed Garp that night? No wonder I had some rice crackers bits in my mouth," recklessly the red-haired man uttered, making some of the faint-hearted puke and some strong-willed facepalm.

As for Luffy... He... Urr... Continue on reading to find out.

"Uwaa! Shanks kissed with garandpa! That's- ew! Uwaaa!" and the beloved child of everyone's cried like a baby. Knowing what to do, the brother came up to his childish little brother.

"Shanks was drunken that night, Luffy. I believe you grandpa weren't willing to be kissed," the blond comforted while hugging his brother in comfort. He frowned at the mental image. He then swore he could feel everyone shudder.

"But Sabo! That-" Luffy cried. The pirate kind was crying once again.

The last time Zoro, his first mate - and also the current greatest swordsman in the world - saw him crying like this was way back at Dressrosa. Meeting with his brother-whom-he-thought-had-died-long-ago was truly something.

"Sorry Luffy. When I'm drunk, I can't control myself! Dahahaha!" laughed the cheerful captain. Luffy cried some more. Benn shook his head.

"Well, at least there won't be any sequels in bed or something," uttered the archaeologist, who was having her personal mental image imagined. Actions in bed.

Disgusted, everyone glared at her piercingly.

"ROBIN! THAT'S NOT HELPING!" shrieked the two brothers, making Koala, whom had always supportd Robin's scary thoughts roll on the floor laughing. Zoro chuckled a bit, seeing how funny these people were reacting.

"Hmm... That's a good suggestion. But maybe with someone else," Shanks replied.

Everyone jawsdropped at him in disbelief.

* * *

Meanwhile, Gap was sneezing for the third time now.

"I wonder if they remember any of those night events?" Sengoku wondered wile sipping his cup of tea. Tsuru was biting on a rice cracker while Coby and Helmeppo were seated next to them. The two raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?" the two hummed in wonder.

"Ew ew ew ew ew ew! Stop reminding me of that stupid night!" scolded the owner of Fists of Love.

* * *

Akainu. Or with his real name, Sakazuki, facepalmed hearing to the story told off by the old woman.

"That's... I think you all really shouldn't.. Ur... Never mind. I accept this reason as of to why you didn't capture them back then. It's... ," shuddering, he was not the only one. Kizaru and Fujitora were facepalming too.

"It was really a bad luck for Garp. Pity that old man," sighed Tsuru, but inwardly was giggling.

* * *

**A/N: So, this was how it turned out. And I hope you guys enjoyed it. I know. You guys either enjoyed puking through out this fic or already died out of laughter. To those of you who are reading this crackly paired fic, I assume you guys like funny fics. So ... I recommend you guys to go and read It' 's fic. It's about Ace and halloween terror and pranks. Hidden cameras too. It really is great! **

**I really recommend you guys to go and check out the favs list on my profile. I guarantee ya 99.8 percent that most of the stories are great! :D**

**If you want to copy and paste the question-list game, go to my profile. It's there.**

**Also, sorry for this nightmarish fic. It's really a shame of me. But hey, I'm not a yaoi fangirl actually. Well... It's too hard to explain. I prefer friendship above all. :D**

**About Shanks personality, I think it was okay... He acted serious and all but actually he's intending to troll everyone out.**

**And about the last scene, that was... Uhmm... I wanted to make Sakazuki looking not that bad, I mean, he did killed off Ace and I'm mad about it too especially when he insulted Newgate! But maybe he had a very dark past? Who knows... Well, only Oda-sensei does...**

**Regarding to the latest chapters, especially 731, which curently is still hot, I added up Koala and Sabo. I really think the last two crew members would be those too. Or not. Heh. Oda-sensei is really a genius. Above all, let's thank him for the great masterpiece. :D**

**Anyways, this is it. Again, sorry for the mental images, yall! XD I really can't help myself! XD**

**So, see ya! ;D!**

**PS: Don't kill me! X9**


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